Carolyn Hax: Friend’s words said over coffee are hard to swallow

Friend's words said over coffee are hard to swallow

Hi, Carolyn: About eight years ago, when our kids were in elementary school, I became casual friends with five other women, moms "in the same class." As time went on, the kids' friendships changed. The moms remained. We usually get together for coffee about once a month. We have been there for each other in some difficult times (cancer, a divorce, the death of parents, etc.).

All of us work outside the home but one, and her kids are both now in their teens. Yesterday, at our regular coffee, she announced that her husband is leaving her after nearly two decades of marriage. We jumped in with condolences and support.

However, what this friend said next stunned me: that what devastated her the most is that she will have to get a job, and she can't imagine not being there for her children because "what kind of mother chooses work over being a good parent?" Those are the precise words she used.